Jul 28, 2009

Can a Diamond be Too Big & Shopping Together for Engagement Ring the Right Way?

Recently I received a question from a guy wanting to know if a 3 carat cushion cut diamond is too big.

Bless his heart! There is going to be one happy gal!

As a woman, my immediately reaction was hell no! Anyway, I stopped myself and thought about it for a couple of minutes. I know I have thought about my dream ring and hope one day BF will be able to do me right by picking out the perfect ring. The one which when I see it my heart will melt and say to him, "sweetie, how do you know?!" Different women have completely different preferences, I have not met a gal yet who will turn down a 3 carat diamond but she might have an opinion about the shape and the setting. In in the end it is all about comfort level. However, I suggested he should find out her likes and dislikes. If a savvy guy wants to surprise his girlfriend then perhaps asking her best friends or family for suggestions might be a way to avoid any ring mistake. And, I don't think there is a perfect carat weight; it is all about the budget, what you can find and her preference. Some women will take a smaller diamond but want the best 4Cs. Some want the biggest rock possible and are willing to compromise on the 4Cs.
This comes to my own issue about the ring. The other day BF and I got into a brief discussion about "The Ring" only to discover we had different ideas about the ring in question. To be honest, I have some ideas about what will look good on me but don't know for certain. I figure BF will sort out the details and surprise me with my dream ring under the most romantic setting. When I told married gal pals, they all laughed and told me to take BF ring shopping to avoid nasty surprises. A gal pal eventually had her setting changed because the original was not very stylish, to put it nicely. Looking at her ring, we all said at the same time, "At least the rock is huge!" I am a little saddened by such an idea because the romantic me inside wants BF to surprise and delight me. However the rational me thinks perhaps shopping together might be wiser because both of us can figure out the right ring together when the time is right. After all, isn't two heads better than one? I just found it a bit awkward discussing color, clarity, cut and carat with BF. Yet, I am scared what if my future ring is not my dream ring if I don't tell him.

I have visited Harry Winston with a family friend and think the micro pave setting is gorgeous. However, without trying more ring styles, it is hard to determine what I will love eventually. I have always believed when the time is right, I will know exactly what I want for my ring but it is just not true. I understand the 4Cs but am clueless about what is right for me. It is so much easier when my own emotion is not involved. So let me ask you this, should couples shop for engagement rings together? I am thinking maybe we can just go browse and then he can surprise me eventually. Regardless, ultimately it is about the life we will share together and not the ring so I guess I will just take a chill pill.

***I am not getting engaged. We just talked about it since we dated for a while so congratulation is not in order.

Update on the Crazy for Bow Shoe Giveaway:

I noticed a few of my fellow shoe addict friends shared this giveaway not only on the daily post, they also added the giveaway on the sidebar. I think this act totally deserves 2 additional entries, one for Senorita and one for Destiny.

AND

If you share this giveaway more than once with your fellow shoes addicts, let me know, each link back will earn an additional entry for both Destiny and Senorita.

44 comments:

  1. Wow...that would be a mighty big diamond!! 3??

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  2. Love them in any sizes...but the bigger ones are the best!!!!

    Who doesn't love diamonds!

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  3. I understand how you can be torn on this question... but I believe that you can casually go browsing today and try them on--diamonds look very different on your hand than behind glass and you need to find one that compliments your hand...

    Although my girly side says... too big??? No way!

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  4. Ok I'm an the ultimate girlie girl. I am also in love with anything wedding related, and it starts with the ring of course. And let me tell you, working in the wedding business I see a LOT of ring. And a lot that I DO NOT like at all! I think when the time comes for my bf to start looking, I would def want to have him either ask what I like or ask someone who knows me for tips. Bless his heart he tried with my Christmas gift this past year but it's not at all my style and when it comes to a ring I plan on wearing forever, I want something I'll love forever.

    Oh and in my opinion, yes a diamond can be too big. Honestly I don't think I want a diamond. I'm much rather a sapphire engagement ring.

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  5. I don't think a diamond can ever be too big!

    As for your ring, I think you should browse with him just to make sure he knows what you like. After that, let him surprise you! Let him have some fun, too. :)

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  6. In a way I agree diamond can be too big. At least at my age, I would not want anything more than 3 carats. When I am older, it is different then. I tried on a 6 carat ring before belonging to a family friend and it looked silly on me. I know BF will do all the research and will try to find the best ring he thinks I might like. I know what I don't like, I just don't know for sure yet what it is I love.

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  7. I have always been a plain gold band girl, only because of the size issues people place on their rings, and well, the whole blood diamond thing.

    I am single now, but if Handsome and I ever get legal, I seriously think I am all about the plain gold band.

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  8. shopping together does take the "romance" out of it, but the reality is the woman is going to be wearing the ring. she should have something that suits her. no one wants to be wearing an ugly ring! me, id take a white chanel j12 chronograph instead.

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  9. I just hope when the time comes my significant other will bring my sis along because she usually knows what I want.

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  10. Hahaha...what a cute question. Is it too big!!! Only a guy would ask :) Cushion cut is my fav...i've got my eye on the one @ Tiffany's. I WILL HAVE IT!!!

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  11. I don't know if I would want a 3 carat, actually. My engagement ring is tiny. We were very poor when we got married. I would love to upgrade to a one carat, which would be perfect for me.

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  12. A ring is just a ring...it's material and you can't take it with you...lol However what truly matters is the realtionship you share with your partner...I would suggest not to stress about it too much, becuase it's not worth it...Just let him surprise you and accept whatever he gives you:)
    Your love for each other is all that matters:)

    xoxo
    Mimi

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  13. I went with S to look at rings and I was adamant about a princess cut(it's what I had dreamt about for years) in a somewhat vintage, diamonds on the band setting. So that's what I got. 2 years later...not so much. He turned it into a pendant and now I have a brilliant cut in a classic setting and a vintage-esqe ring with no stone. It pays to try on everything!

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  14. 3C sounds good to me! Lucky lady!

    xoxox,
    CC

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  15. I would prefer a diamond that won't weigh down my finger or get caught on everything! As far as shopping with the man goes... I recommend it!
    The boyfriend and I went out to browse our local ring selection and it turns ot his taste is different than mine (putting it nicely)! I like a more classic setting and he likes.... something his mom would like!

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  16. I've seen a 4 carat solitaire up close & personal and I am a firm believer that once a diamond reaches a certain size it starts to look gaudy.

    I'm a petite gal and I'm happy as a clam with my 1/2 carat (which is an upgrade to the barely 1/4 carat I received when the hubs first proposed when we were only 18!)...of course, for my birthday I'm hoping to receive an enhancer of some sort. ;-)

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  17. I didn't want a ring (I said, "Buy me a house instead!") but he insisted. So I said I wanted a sapphire engagement ring, like Princess Diana's, but the now-hubby said, "Well, look at what happened to that marriage!" and got me a diamond. The diamond is not 3 carats but it still cost him a lot because he wanted it to be perfect in the other Cs. I got the house, the diamond, the wedding... but what I love most is the man!

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  18. Oh, to answer your questions...

    Yes, a diamond can be too big. I've seen some huge diamonds on engagement rings and they're so big, people ask, "Is it fake?" ACK!

    No, shopping for rings can be romantic as long as he doesn't buy it in front of the girl and she doesn't treat the entire thing as a shopping spree!

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  19. I agree with Frances. Diamond should be size appropriate. Since I am petite, my 2 carat is perfectly lovely. Also I agree it is about the life together and not the rock.

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  20. AnonymousJuly 28, 2009

    Call me shallow, bigger the better!

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  21. A three carat rock is perfectly acceptable. Of course, it really depends on the culture of the place where you live as to what's considered acceptable to wear out and about. I'm perfectly happy with my ring, which is a nice sized solitaire in a vintage setting. I knew I wanted a round solitaire, so when my husband was shopping for rings, we sort of went out together and he had an idea of the style I liked, and it was up to him and the advice of his jeweler and friends to pick out the rest. Even though I knew we were going to get engaged, it was such a nice surprise to find that I loved the ring. I would have married him without the rock, too, but the ring was a nice surprise :)

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  22. give him a hint on what u really want for your engagement ring or browse with him and for sure that would be really a lot of fun.

    >>> Rebecca Rose
    http://rebeccaroseilican.blogspot.com/

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  23. oh, i am so picky that i really think i have to pick out my own ring -- if/when that day ever happens! ahahhaha. :)

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  24. a diamond is never too big!!

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  25. I think I'd rather let my BF surprise me with whatever ring he chooses! Of course I'll give him lots of hints as to what kind of ring I like! xxoxoxoxo

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  26. I love my bling but I think that a diamond can be too big on a ring.. cuz it gets caught on sweaters etc when you take it off! I ruined one of my fav argyle sweater like that a while back :(

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  27. my hubs surprised me...the only thing he knew was that I loved the princess cut and then he did the rest himself and that I didn't really want a solitaire (funnily enough now I love the solitaire look so who knows...maybe one day I will get one). I love knowing that he picked it out himself...he really does know me so well, but I also had the ring reset just before our wedding bc he originally did it in white gold and we decided that platinum was better. also, my wedding bands are platinum and so is his ring so we just decided to do it. the setting itself is all the same but it's a different metal and I adore it.

    :)

    ps--no, three carats is not too big, imo. I just think it gets to be a little ridiculous when women are walking around with enormous cocktail ring size engagement rings. They are fun and GORGEOUS but they are so impractical for every day...in NYC it seems like some women have these gigantic rocks on their fingers and I'm always wondering how they wear them to the gym, grocery shopping and on the subway....I don't know...is that crazy?

    ps--stop by my blog today to enter to win a free print:) xx

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  28. that ring is gorgeous! as long as it wasn't too huge, the bigger the better!

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  29. Although I love to be surprised, I am also very picky. So I would definitely go ring shopping with a future BF. My best friend picked out her own ring and is very happy. I guess it's only romantic if you're cluesless and aren't really picky.

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  30. Nothing is too big as long as she likes it! I have a 3.5 carat round, myself. When I do engagement rings, I definitely prefer to work with the woman to rather than do a surprise piece. She's going to wear it after all. Not only did I get to pick my stone, of course, I designed the whole ring myself. I found that sufficiently romantic ;-)

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  31. I have a micro pave ring! (Great minds think alike. :) And really b/c we shopped for it together. (I told him beforehand that this was how I wanted it) I think either shopping together or telling him what you like is the way to go. Most guys like it when we're direct anyways.

    P.S Why can't La Mer be cheaper? *sigh*

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  32. I wonder what my preferences would be if I'm ever at that point. I've never worn rings and only rarely wear bracelets, so I imagine that wearing a ring at all (let alone one with a large stone) would be quite an adjustment. I don't think that there's anything wrong with ring shopping together just to get a sense of what would be the best decision for you. :)

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  33. Ummmm I have heard stories about where the guys went by t hemselves with the girl's best friend or sister or THEIR sister and picked out their future wife's ring!! I say boo to that! Nobody knows you better than yourself. Not even your fiance, especially concerning style and fashion unless your fiance is telepathic! I made sure my husband and I went ring shopping together. I picked several I liked and let him "choose" except I told him which one I liked the best! And he got it. I am SO glad we went together because I don't want to be stuck with an ugly ring for the rest of my life.... and YES the bigger the better!!! clothedmuch.blogspot.com

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  34. AnonymousJuly 28, 2009

    Proudly I can say that my husband in 4 days pick my ring on his own. Fell in love with it the first time I lay my eyes on it, dun care abt the carats (never ask and dun want to).
    Happy to say, proves he knows me very very well :)

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  35. I think it depends on your fingers. If the diamond is too big, it will look weird if you have skinny fingers. But I guess it depends on your preference.

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  36. Can he call my hubs? Ah ha ha

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  37. I enjoyed this post. Great advice. Definitely good advice. This is such an important and expensive item that it's vital to do it right.

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  38. Hmm well getting engaged shouldn't be a surprise really since you've usually gotten to "that point", so as long as he surprised me in the way he asks me, I don't mind if we do some window shopping for rings beforehand. Haha men are always so concerned about size, but like that other thing, size isn't everything.

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  39. wow 3?!?!?!? thats more than enough for me! the bf took me to try rings on a while a go... i was set on a princess cut and thought that would be the one only to find out when i tried it on that i look better with a round cut. i dont usually try things on, but i'm glad i did otherwise he would never have known! hehe!

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  40. I would highly suggest shopping together. Guys never seem to get it right.
    I also agree there is no such thing as too big! LOL

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  41. I actually have first hand experience on this subject, my husband (now) picked my ring out all by himself, with no help or input from me. He chose a 1 carat princess cut solitaire in a cathedral setting- perfect! That being said, if he had chosen an art deco antique ring I would have loved that ring just as much. I think a lot of people lose sight of what's truly important here, it's not the ring, it's what the ring represents- it's the marriage. If your man truly knows you and you truly love him, then he can't pick out anything wrong. Sure there are a lot of girls out there with these 3 carat plus rings, but how long does the actual marriage last? I guess that's the hopeless romantic inside me talking, but I truly value the meaning of our marriage and that matters more to me than a ring.

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  42. Such a good topic! First: that 3 ct. ring will make his gf one happy wifey!!! And as for ring shopping- I am like you in thinking that my bf will know which one to get! But now you have me thinking that maybe we should just happen to "stroll" by a store one day and take a look, just in case! Great post :) XOXO

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  43. i think we should shop engagement ring together. he should know our dream ring. like i and my BF, we shop engagement ring together, and we have a long discuss on the shop. firts, we discussing about our budget and than the ring style. after a few hours, we get our dream ring. i'm so happy. even that's not an expensiv ring, but i love it!!

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  44. My fiancee picked out the ring all by himself...I wanted him to do the shopping on his own!

    Our jeweler told him that anything near or over 3 (in the center stone) was meant for the safe not everyday wear.

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